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Best of 911 calls

Right here. Granted, this is from the San Francisco area, and we know what Mark Twain said about California. My favorites:

Burlingame, Nov. 14: An opera singer was reported to be creating a disturbance again.

Redwood City, Aug. 28: A man called police after his wife got upset with him for asking her boyfriend to stop phoning him.

Foster City, July 24: A woman reported that her her friend had failed to answer the phone or the doorbell for more than four hours. Police determined that the friend was trying to avoid her.

Redwood City, March 25: A man worried that marijuana smoke from the alley was going to kill him.

Burlingame, Nov. 26: A man wearing a Spider-Man mask who had spread his belongings on the floor of a shop was advised to leave.

Fremont, July 8: Jack in the Box was robbed at gunpoint by a man wearing a Halloween mask who took a moment to don the headset and let drive-through customers know it would be just a sec.

Redwood City, Aug. 16: A mother with her children in a laundromat reported a fellow patron had undressed to include what she was wearing in her load.

Niles, Sept. 17: A vehicle was ransacked by someone who took only one item: a bag of elephant dung the owner had received as a gag gift. Police suspected the thief mistook it for marijuana.

Burlingame, Sept. 12: A man with a picture of a gun on his cellphone was pointing it at people as if it were a real gun.