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« NIH back to funding gun control studies | Main | 70 year old lady shoots robber »

ATF HQ'S Toilet terrorist task force

Posted by David Hardy · 21 October 2009 08:38 AM

You can't make this up. ATF HQ is on a manhunt for the employee who is vandalizing their johns.

· BATFE

10 Comments | Leave a comment

affe | October 21, 2009 8:54 AM | Reply

Another person taking advantage of the gun show poophole.

Dave D. | October 21, 2009 9:12 AM | Reply

..Not funny, not in the least funny. At the highest levels, it's known as " Operation Plunger ". From sources deep within the Agency I've learned that this taskforce is but A.T.F. ( a toilet flush ) away from nabbing the miscreant.

Fiftycal | October 21, 2009 12:10 PM | Reply

Perhaps they should get some professional investigators. Some of the FOX NEWS reporters are not busy, since the Obammy administration won't talk to them. Maybe you could get Mike Wallace to investigate?

yowzemz | October 21, 2009 4:02 PM | Reply

There could be a parallel to a vandalism I became awre of when in college. One one fellow (so presumed because he confined his activities to a single men's dormitory, well after lockdown) nicknamed the "Dumper" who distinguished himself in a highly original way. He would wait until the wee hours, dissolve some ungodly number of rolls of toilet paper in a 5 or so gallon wastebasket or bucket or similar contrivance (the size was never established, as he never got caught), and pour the mixture down the stairwell, from the 5th floor to the 1st floor of the men's dormitory. At each succeeding level, the splattering effect became more and more pronounced. By the time the mixture reached the ground floor, a spectacular mess had been created, which had to be cleaned up manually.

The guy became legend. The University naturally clamored for his head, did posters, offered a reward, threatened explusion, undertook room-to-room searches for evidence, all to no avail. A week or so after the first posters were posted, the Dumper struck again. More clamoring. A fresh round of posters. The Dumper then fiendishly upped the game by adding several ounces of permanent/indelible blue/black ink (the kind for fountain pens) to the dissolved toilet paper mixture, mixing thoroughly, and ceremoniously dumped it down two stairwells, one at each end of the dormitory. The stairwells not only had to be cleaned, they had to be repainted as well; that really chapped the University. Speculation as to his identity and motives (never articulated) preoccupied the campus, or at least part of it, for the rest of the semester, but after the blue/black dumping the University authorities got strangely quiet. I guess the man felt dumped on for some reason common to bureaucracies, or was simply a creative vandal, and did symbolic dumping of his own. The Dumper receded as mysteriously as he appeared, in each case without any comment whatsoever.

I'm guessing the ATF Headquarters Restroom Vandal (certainly these are mens's restrooms? A female ATF vandal would be one for the profilers) is not anywhere near as creative. And no, I was not the Dumper. I have no idea who was. I am just reporting what happened.

CDR D | October 21, 2009 5:38 PM | Reply

I think every Navy and Coast Guard ship has had a "Phantom Sh*tter" and one time or another.

I'll never forget the time (over 40 years ago), when the "Phantom" hit the wardroom table sometime in the middle of the night.

The XO canceled liberty for the crew.

straightarrow | October 22, 2009 12:54 AM | Reply

Pardon the pun, but this is the only crap these thug sonsofbitches are qualified to investigate. And it should be the total reach of their charter, and nothing more. Keep them in the toilet where they belong.

dagamore | October 22, 2009 1:05 AM | Reply

I bet that they will find he is also behind all the problems they have with there MG registry!

deadcenter | October 22, 2009 8:45 PM | Reply

Morale there must be through the roof!

straightarrow | October 23, 2009 11:33 PM | Reply

One more thought. They should borrow tanks from the National Guard, get backup from the FBI and perform another Waco on the entire compound while it is occupied with BATFE employees, with shooters set up outside to prevent escape from the ensuing firestorm. And all survivors would then be sent to prison.

Hey! Fair's fair.

straightarrow | October 23, 2009 11:34 PM | Reply

Oh yeah, it's not like these sonsofbitches don't have experience at this sort of thing.

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