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Comparison of AK, M-16, and Moisin-Nagant
Pretty funny -- long, so it's in extended remarks below. Hat tip to Bernie Oliver..
The following was sent to me in jest by one of my correspondents who got if from a Marine correspondent of his. There is a lot of truth in this: a comparison of the AK-47 to the AR-15 (M16) to the 1891 Moisin-Nagant rifles.
AK: It works though you have never cleaned it -- ever.
AR: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
MN: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945. Maybe.
AK: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
MN: You can hit the farm from two counties over.
AK: Cheap magazines are fun to buy.
AR: Cheap magazines melt.
MN: What's a magazine?
AK: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR: You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
MN: What's a safety?
AK: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR: Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
MN: Your rifle has four dog collars tied end-to-end.
AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
MN: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
AK: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak, if you can ever hit it.
AR: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
MN: You can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.
AK: When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
MN: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
AK: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR: What's recoil?
MN: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.
AK: Your sight adjustment goes to "10", and you've never bothered moving it.
AR: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
MN: Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually tried it.
AK: Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
MN: Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.
AK: Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR: Your rifle won the Cold War.
MN: Your rifle won a pole vault event.
AK: You paid $350.
AR: You paid $900.
MN: You paid $59.95.
AK: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
MN: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.
AK: You can intimidate your foe when you fix bayonet.
AR: Your can give your foe a good laugh when you fix your bayonet.
MN: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.
AK: Service life, 50 years.
AR: Service life, 40 years.
MN: Service life, 100 years, and counting.
AK: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
MN: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54R.
AK: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith and it's under warranty!
MN: If your rifle breaks, you can buy a new one.
AK: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to burst into flames.
AR: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
MN: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.
AK: After a long day the range you relax by watching "Red Dawn".
AR: After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down".
MN: After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor.
AK: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
MN: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
AK: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
MN: Your rifle's finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga's toe nails.
AK: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
MN: You're not sure there WERE cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin.
AK: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
MN: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.
11 Comments | Leave a comment
That is hilarious. I think I might have to get a MN now.
The Mosin-Nagent is hands down one of my favorite rifles, but the above ain't too far from the truth.
Finnish model M39 is a fine rifle. I got mine for less than forty dollars!
Very funny. Very true.
That one's a classic. Just to give credit where credit's due, I'm pretty sure this originated on the now defunct Head's Bunker site. The guy had a bunch of explanations of how to build AKs.
I also saw it at Head's but I think he got it from someone else.
One indication it's been around for a while is in the 'Service Life' segment.
Respectfully, Mr. Hardy, the rifle is not a "Moisin-"Nagant, but merely a Mosin-Nagant. The mispronunciation must derive somewhere from ancient, as-yet-undiscovered French heritage you unfortunately possess.
I think this came from here:
It's a beautiful thing, thanks for repeating it - I lost it the last time I came across it. ;-) Literally, howling in the cubicles.
I hope this is not too long. That was such fun I have to share similar observations about the K-31 and Garand:
Stuff you know if you have a Schmidt Rubin K-31:
The bore was cleaned with a special grease, leaving it in pristine condition, but the wood was left to be chewed on by beavers. You can hit the lock on the barn door at 300 m. The mags are made of cardboard. The safety draws attention at the range because it looks like a giant hypodermic syringe sticking out of the back of the receiver. Your rifle came with a 50 year old leather sling and a brass muzzle cover. Your bayonet costs more than the rifle. You can put six rounds in the X-ring at 300 yards using surplus Swiss ammunition. When out of ammunition your rifle makes a very good club. You wonder if that is really how the stock got so beat-up. You wonder at people concerned about the recoil. You will argue with anyone who says that the straight-pull design is too delicate for actual combat. Service life: 55 years. You paid $100 for the rifle, have another on the way, and are planning to buy 3 more so you can get them for $89.95 each. You are seriously considering buying sights for it that cost three times what you paid for the rifle. You buy the ammunition by the case and save the Berdan-primed brass for the day when the surplus ammunition runs out and you’ll have to learn to reload it. You know the name, rank and serial number of the soldier your rifle was issued to and are envious of other K-31 owners who have received answers to letters to the former soldiers. You consider it a badge of honor that this accurate rifle has not actually ever been used to kill anyone. You follow the discussion on the various Swiss Rifle web sites about what the original finish really was. After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for Fondue and Swiss Chocolate. You have a picture of General Guisan on your computer, and never saw any pictures of Colonel Schmidt or Colonel Rubin. Your wife tolerates you buying the Swiss helmet, camo uniform, belt, pouches and other accessories over the internet because she doesn’t know you have five of these rifles already. Late at night you resist the urge to tell your wife (for the tenth time) how well the Swiss shoot, and the joke that ends with "we shoot twice and go home."
Stuff you know if you have an M1 Garand:
You’re searching the web for the authentic WW2 cleaning fluid that is carcinogenic. You have a full gross of the little grease pots that fit in the stock. You are able to hit the barn from two farms over. Mags are for klutzes! Your safety is both subtle and easy to use. Your sling cost more than the Mosin-Nagant. Your sight is the only peep sight you’ve ever seen on a battle rifle. Your bayonet doubles as a fighting knife. You can put a whole clip into a man-sized target at 200 yards. Service life: 30 years. When out of ammo your rifle is an excellent club. Recoil? The .30-06 is a manly cartridge effective past 500 yards and capable of triumphing over the finest from Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Communist North Korea, and taking any animal in North America. Don’t be wimping out about the recoil. The ‘03 Springfield, now, that had recoil! Your rifle was used by the free world to turn back the tide of totalitarianism. You bought your rifle from the Office of the Civilian Marksmanship Program for $600 and are tickled that the government – the GOVERNMENT! sent the rifle to your home. You buy ammo by the case and debate the advantage of Lake City over Greek or Korean or Federal. You consider it a badge of honor to know first hand what "Garand Thumb" is. You secretly smile when the guy next to you gets Garand Thumb. You not so secretly smile when everyone at the range wants to see, hold, and fire your M1. After firing off eight rounds you know in your heart that General George S. Patton’s acknowledgment of the M1 as "the greatest implement of battle ever devised" is still true. You relax after a long day at the range by watching "Band of Brothers". After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge to liberate a bunch of effete Europeans – again. You have the helmet, the cartridge belt, the butt stock cleaning kit, the muzzle guard, and are still learning about the other accessories. Your rifle’s finish is boiled linseed oil, which served our nation well, until the advent of the "Matty Mattel." Your wife tolerates your autographed, framed picture of John C. Garand. Late at night you think of your Garand and feel at one with your Grandfather who carried one from D+10 to Mittersill.
By Windy Wilson
That is pretty damn funny.