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Recycling old story
Al-Zarqawi winds up before the Pearly Gates, and the recording angel says "Well, you died a martyr's death, my friend. Let me take you to the promised reward."
They go inside the gates, and George Washington pounces and gets the terrorist in a double-nelson. Robert E. Lee takes off his coat and proclaims "Ah've been waiting for this" and begins to beat the snot out of him. Behind Lee, Al-Zarqawi sees James Madison thumping brass knuckles into his palm, George Mason practicing with a baseball bat, and a long line of others awaiting their turn.
"You betrayed me!" he shouts to the recording angel, "You lied!"
"Oh, no," says the angel, "These are the 69 Virginians you were promised for all eternity."
But nothing will ever beat The Onion's insight on the terrorists' hereafter. Altho IowaHawk's last opinion column by Mr. Z does come close.
UPDATE: Not everyone is celebrating Mr. Z's rendezvous with a half ton of warheads:
"Some Democrats, breaking ranks from their leadership, today said the death of terrorist leader Abu Musab Zarqawi in Iraq was a stunt to divert attention from an unpopular and hopeless war.
"This is just to cover Bush's [rear] so he doesn't have to answer" for Iraqi civilians being killed by the U.S. military and his own sagging poll numbers, said Rep. Pete Stark, California Democrat."
2 Comments | Leave a comment
I've always like Bill Levinson's take on the whole virgins issue.
(Bill has been posting on the usenet talk.politics.guns board for a long, long time.)
"Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell" http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38673headline is more accurate and prophetic than anything you might find in the MSM.