ATF HQ'S Toilet terrorist task force
You can't make this up. ATF HQ is on a manhunt for the employee who is vandalizing their johns.
Another person taking advantage of the gun show poophole.
Posted by: affe at October 21, 2009 08:54 AM
..Not funny, not in the least funny. At the highest levels, it's known as " Operation Plunger ". From sources deep within the Agency I've learned that this taskforce is but A.T.F. ( a toilet flush ) away from nabbing the miscreant.
Posted by: Dave D. at October 21, 2009 09:12 AM
Perhaps they should get some professional investigators. Some of the FOX NEWS reporters are not busy, since the Obammy administration won't talk to them. Maybe you could get Mike Wallace to investigate?
Posted by: Fiftycal at October 21, 2009 12:10 PM
There could be a parallel to a vandalism I became awre of when in college. One one fellow (so presumed because he confined his activities to a single men's dormitory, well after lockdown) nicknamed the "Dumper" who distinguished himself in a highly original way. He would wait until the wee hours, dissolve some ungodly number of rolls of toilet paper in a 5 or so gallon wastebasket or bucket or similar contrivance (the size was never established, as he never got caught), and pour the mixture down the stairwell, from the 5th floor to the 1st floor of the men's dormitory. At each succeeding level, the splattering effect became more and more pronounced. By the time the mixture reached the ground floor, a spectacular mess had been created, which had to be cleaned up manually.
The guy became legend. The University naturally clamored for his head, did posters, offered a reward, threatened explusion, undertook room-to-room searches for evidence, all to no avail. A week or so after the first posters were posted, the Dumper struck again. More clamoring. A fresh round of posters. The Dumper then fiendishly upped the game by adding several ounces of permanent/indelible blue/black ink (the kind for fountain pens) to the dissolved toilet paper mixture, mixing thoroughly, and ceremoniously dumped it down two stairwells, one at each end of the dormitory. The stairwells not only had to be cleaned, they had to be repainted as well; that really chapped the University. Speculation as to his identity and motives (never articulated) preoccupied the campus, or at least part of it, for the rest of the semester, but after the blue/black dumping the University authorities got strangely quiet. I guess the man felt dumped on for some reason common to bureaucracies, or was simply a creative vandal, and did symbolic dumping of his own. The Dumper receded as mysteriously as he appeared, in each case without any comment whatsoever.
I'm guessing the ATF Headquarters Restroom Vandal (certainly these are mens's restrooms? A female ATF vandal would be one for the profilers) is not anywhere near as creative. And no, I was not the Dumper. I have no idea who was. I am just reporting what happened.
Posted by: yowzemz at October 21, 2009 04:02 PM
I think every Navy and Coast Guard ship has had a "Phantom Sh*tter" and one time or another.
I'll never forget the time (over 40 years ago), when the "Phantom" hit the wardroom table sometime in the middle of the night.
The XO canceled liberty for the crew.
Posted by: CDR D at October 21, 2009 05:38 PM
Pardon the pun, but this is the only crap these thug sonsofbitches are qualified to investigate. And it should be the total reach of their charter, and nothing more. Keep them in the toilet where they belong.
Posted by: straightarrow at October 22, 2009 12:54 AM
I bet that they will find he is also behind all the problems they have with there MG registry!
Posted by: dagamore at October 22, 2009 01:05 AM
Morale there must be through the roof!
Posted by: deadcenter at October 22, 2009 08:45 PM
One more thought. They should borrow tanks from the National Guard, get backup from the FBI and perform another Waco on the entire compound while it is occupied with BATFE employees, with shooters set up outside to prevent escape from the ensuing firestorm. And all survivors would then be sent to prison.
Hey! Fair's fair.
Posted by: straightarrow at October 23, 2009 11:33 PM
Oh yeah, it's not like these sonsofbitches don't have experience at this sort of thing.
Posted by: straightarrow at October 23, 2009 11:34 PM