Three years ago
I'll be heading to Milwaukee tommorrow, and will likely be doing very little blogging until Sunday.
Three years ago today I was flying to Falls Church VA, for my eldest son's 18th birthday. He lived there with my former wife... we'd divorced in 1990 and years later I'd remarried, but we were on good terms, if still, well, arguing from time to time.
His mother had been diagnosed with cancer in January, and she'd been telling me the chemo was taking care of it. I got out to the house and found her in bed on oxygen. A four day trip turned into two weeks, during which (the rest of the family chickening out) I had to tell her that the docs said she wouldn't make it, arrange a funeral and a probate. I've got a memorial page to her here. Look in the wedding photos if you want to see a young Wayne LaPierre with Austin Powers-type haircut.
You'd think after 20 years of argument it wouldn't hit hard, but it certainly did. I still put flowers on her grave every time I'm in the DC area, tho I stopped weeping while doing it after a year or so. Bottom line was that we'd shared a life and a love and a bed and a child for years. Her father, my best friend, had died in 1985, and she was laid to rest next to him. Her mother died nine months later, and went in the plot as well. That entire family wiped out.
You think of cancer as something impersonal. Naw, it's tumors. She had two visible on her skin, an inch or so by an inch and a half, and in the end the ones inside squeezed the life out of her. I got her medical records and she had apparently been in denial -- from first diagnosis her chances were maybe 10% with chemo. They found two 20-30mm tumors in the lung, a 20mm in the liver, the whole lymph system invaded, and bone invasion from hip to jaw.