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Signs you might need to change lawyers

[from my friend Bernie Oliver]

* During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.

* He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

* Every time he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

* Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

* He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs," or "Penal Code."

* When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

* A prison guard is shaving your head.