Signs you might need to change lawyers
[from my friend Bernie Oliver]
* During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.
* He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."
* Every time he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
* Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
* He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs," or "Penal Code."
* When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
* A prison guard is shaving your head.